Two today!

Today marks the second anniversary of my dream of going to sleep as Robin and waking up as Stephanie coming true. Well, physically anyway! It’s been a challenging two years to say the least and I certainly didn’t expect to be still taking painkillers regularly and be looking for a surgeon to correct things from the first and second attempt.

But it is what it is and i think this is a good opportunity to look at how far I’ve come since then and my journey which in reality started in a specialist’s room on the 21st December 2015 when i at last learned about my true beginnings. I am indeed a very different person in so many ways and i owe much of this to my rock and soulmate Denise. Without her i most likely wouldn’t be here at all but i most certainly wouldn’t be the confident woman i am today. I also need to say a huge thank you to all of the people who have (and still are) looking after me medically. The five GPs who have been amazing, my psychologist, my endocrinologist, my osteopath who has been so much more for over 7 years and many more. I also would like to say a huge thank you to all our friends for their support, you have all been amazing.

My book, “When do i get to be me” is finally finished, Denise is currently proof reading it for me before it goes for editing. My grammar is not fantastic so there is lots to correct but I’m pleased with how it’s turned out and I’m happy that it will get my story and the message out.

While i am disappointed in the way the surgery has not been  a complete success, the positives in terms of my happiness and contentment are there for all to see. I am also still disappointed by the few negative people who for whatever reason are not happy for me but they are thousands of kilometres away in the UK so in reality not a real issue. A major step forward over the last few months has been an acceptance of how my parents dealt with the issue of my being born intersex (or rather didn’t deal with it!) for a number of reasons i have come to terms with it with the help of ‘H’ my truely wonderful psychologist who in our six-weekly sessions never fails to ask where I’m at with them. I am so lucky to be able to still see her even though technically i am no longer bound by the agreement i made with the psychiatrist back in November 2016 that i would have counselling for at least two years.

I am also lucky in that my business has just taken off! I have two full house paints to do and lots of smaller jobs. My relationship with the Realestate company in town is wonderful, i so appreciate the work and they are very happy that they have someone who is willing to do most things and do them well. I also get to meet some truely lovely people which makes the whole thing even better.

All in all i am in a good place. Regardless of the pain i am in some days I have no regrets at all and realise just what a lucky girl i am!

A delightful journey into the UZ

I have made my thoughts about the UZ and CZ well known, it has long been something I’ve believed but seldom have i felt the benefit in such a profound way.

My latest trip into the UZ involved attending a meditation class. It was a recommendation from my GP and although i have to admit to being both nervous and sceptical everything she has recommended over the past 10 months has been positive so i saw no reason not to give it a try. I’m so pleased i did!  My nerves disappeared within a few seconds of walking through the door. I was welcomed with a lovely hug from  the lady taking the class and it just got better. I was early as usual and took a seat on the couch, the class was due to start at 7.30 but the conversation just flowed and the next thing i knew my alarm was going off to remind me to take my sleeping tablet at 8pm. I realised at that point that i was the only person attending the class, it was just meant to be, we talked and talked and talked. The class was supposed to go for 1 hour but at 9pm we hadn’t even touched on the meditation. I decided i should stop talking and listen. From then on she taught me some very basic meditation techniques and i got it straight away. I have always had problems relaxing. I think it comes from my years in the motor trade when you are continually looking for the next sale only now I’m planning my next job and how I’m going to organise my day. I think this is going to help me in lots of ways.

The lady taking the class is just another example of a beautiful person trying to help me and look after me, i feel so blessed to add her to my seemingly ever growing list of angels. Once again i am realising what a lucky girl i am! Thank you SM for the recommendation, you are a very special lady indeed!

Disappointing service brings me back to square one……..Again!

After my post of almost 4 weeks ago regarding my disappointing visit to a surgeon in Perth I didn’t think things could get much worse in that department but i was clearly wrong. With just 19 hours remaining before my follow up appointment where i hoped he would be better prepared (not thinking it could get any worse!) I received a phone call from his secretary canceling the appointment as he hasn’t had time to do any research for me! To say i am upset about it would be an understatement, I don’t see any point in seeing him again as he clearly is not interested in helping me. So where to from here i really don’t know. Since receiving the call i have tried to think of a different route but am at a loss as to where to look next. I have sent an enquiry to a surgeon in Melbourne who’s name i was given by my endocrinologist but to be honest don’t hold out much hope that he will be willing to help. It seems no one is interested in sorting out someone else’s stuff-ups!  It is all seriously trying my mental state and seemingly all the people i could turn to have no appointments this week or are away so i can see it being a very tough one indeed especially as i came in from my evening walk with the dog in a great deal of pain! Thank goodness for Endone, i know it’s not the answer but until i find a long term solution it does the job!!

Blessed…..Again!

Last week was somewhat challenging to say the least! There was an appointment with a surgeon who in my view was ill prepared, asked some inappropriate questions and performed a very unpleasant examination albeit at my request. Then came Wednesday and after taking Denise to the doctors my car received a $3000 plus dent in the near side rear quarter from a P plater who reversed into it! The final challenge of the week came by way of an unsolved mystery as to the whereabouts of the brew unit out of the coffee machine. It was there when we left for Nannup on Wednesday evening and missing on Saturday morning. There is no sign of a break-in so a mystery it will remain!

This week in comparison has been much more pleasant. I have done work for two very nice people and earned good money in the process and I’ll come back to that later in this post. The best parts of the week have been several appointments with the various people who look after the various areas of my medical needs. This week has had no less than four appointments all of which have started with a hug and finished with a longer one. It started with one of the wonderful GPs who look after me. She is relatively new to me but has made a lovely impression already. She is thorough, caring and genuinely wants to help me find a solution to the pain I’m in. The second was a visit to ‘H’ my psychologist, they are always helpful and i leave with strategies and plans to deal with things and of course a hug at either end of the appointment. The third was a visit to the other wonderful GP who looks me especially my head and my girl bits. When i enter her room i get an amazing feeling of calm and genuine caring which before we even speak puts me at ease. The heartfelt hug at either end of the appointment is the best and has been a part of every single appointment i have had with her. They are so important, I don’t think people hug enough nowadays! My final appointment of the week was a visit to the lady who started the ball rolling back in 2012 when she recommended a GP to me as I didn’t have one. Without her I most likely wouldn’t be the person i am today so i owe her the world. I don’t know how she does it but somehow she is able to relieve pain from all sorts of areas without painful techniques and again has an a lovely calm and thoughtful manner. All of these people have one wonderful thing in common, i always leave their rooms feeling better than when i entered it, better physically and most importantly better mentally. I am only just realising how much physical pain is caused by emotional pain. Above all i know how blessed and lucky i am to have these people in my life, I’m not sure what i did to deserve them but i am so thankful they are there! I even got a hug from the lovely lady who took my blood at the hospital this morning. I haven’t seen this particular lady for some time so she was very interested in my progress, she said i look amazing which made my day.

Going back to one of the jobs i did this week, replacing a vanity unit in an old house in Abbey. The tenant was a very typical Aussie who kept an eye on progress as the job went on. It turns out he had a rent inspection recently and the subject of the vanity unit came up in his conversation with the property manager. He asked if the job had been given to someone as two people had been to quote for it including me. When she said that the work order had been done he replied “i hope you’re sending that chick to do it, she seemed to know what she was talking about” when i heard that it really did give me a huge buzz, it wasn’t the easiest job I’ve done but it was one of the most satisfying as it looked perfect when finished and as I’ve said before, meeting the people i do jobs for has to be one of the best things about my work, there are some truly lovely people out there. I am indeed blessed!