There is no escaping the fact that I am going through one of the toughest periods of my journey at the moment. I am in constant pain even though I am dosed up on morphine every day and at the moment it is very difficult to see how and when it will improve. My GP is doing a great job and looking after me the best she can but sadly having had no previous experience of transgender surgery she is limited in how much she can help me. While she will never possess the beautiful kindness that my previous GP has, in her own way she has gone above and beyond the call of duty in trying to sort my problems out and I thank her constantly for her time and efforts.
Sadly this is not being reciprocated from Philadelphia. After waiting 10 days for a Skype consultation I set my alarm for 4.15 on Friday morning in order to make myself presentable for my 4.30 appointment but it sadly never materialised. As there is some confusion as to which Skype address to use I covered both bases and by using Denise’s iPad as well as mine, had them both set up in front of me, online and ready for the call but it never came. I then received an email telling me that she had tried but couldn’t get an answer. Whether she was using my old Skype address which was in my old name I don’t know, after replying to the email and saying that I had been ready and waiting since 4.25 was sent another email showing that she had tried to contact someone but nothing to say which address she had been using. I have been very flexible over the last 10 months or so in accepting calls at silly hours when in reality she could have been more thoughtful and called me early in her day so it would have been late evening here but I so need to speak to her that I am willing to either stay awake or get up very early to do so. Anyway I have requested another appointment only this time I have asked if I can call her instead of her calling me. I guess that we will never know the true story, she says she tried and I know I didn’t get any calls so it will remain a mystery.
Having had 8 medical appointments in the last couple of weeks I am exhausting most of my options. Neither the ultrasound or the CT scan revealed anything and the gynaecologist, as lovely and kind as he was, couldn’t shed any light on what is causing the pain or treat the source of the constant bleeding as he also doesn’t have any experience of transgender women. So the time has come to look further afield and I have contacted numerous people in different places such as Sydney (no reply, not even a polite sorry can’t help!) Thailand (some definitely not interested, others want every single detail, photos etc before committing to even seeing me) UK (need referral before doing anything) so it seems an up hill battle to say the least! Anyway we will see what this week brings, hopefully some good news at last.
Throughout all my trials and tribulations there has been one constant in my life who has brought me back from the brink on many occasions. I am of course talking about my best friend and soulmate Denise, she is the most amazing part of my life. I often think back to the day my Boss’s wife came into my office back in October 2012 and said to me that there was a lady at the golf club looking for some companionship. She told me who it was and my thoughts went straight to the day I delivered her new Xtrail Ti in August 2011. It was a wet day and I pulled up in her drive, picked up the paperwork from the front seat and headed for the door. She answered to door and asked me in, we completed the remaining paperwork and I suggested we go outside in order for me to show her through the features of her new car. She politely but abruptly declined and announced that she could read the manual. I was a little taken aback by this as the Nissan brand was new to her and has some somewhat quirky features especially when it comes to the stereo and setting up the Bluetooth, I thought for a second then said “well if you are sure? You can always call me if you have any queries” and left. My colleague who had come to collect me was surprised to see me out of the house so quickly and not heading for the car in order to do the handover but we left and that was that. I had spoken to her numerous times since and sorted an issue out with the folding mechanism on the rear seats which was faulty but can’t say it was a particularly friendly relationship. Consequently I did nothing about contacting her with a view to asking her out. I wasn’t looking for a relationship of any kind, I was enjoying being on my own and being able to be Stephanie whenever I was at home. I wasn’t in the best of health either as I was waiting for an appointment to sort my raging toxic thyroid which had got to the stage of me not being able to sleep or relax in any way so the thought of a relationship didn’t excite me much. It wasn’t until some time later that I was introduced to her best friend who was in the market for a new car. Like Denise she was handballed to me by the boss as he didn’t really know what deals and specials were on at the time. While out on the test drive she asked me to call in at the golf club in order to show her best friend who turned out to be Denise. I parked in the car park and sure enough Denise was just putting her clubs into her car, little did I know that it was pre-organised so I came into contact with her again. After returning to the dealership to do the paperwork I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to call Denise and ask her out. It was almost a condition of the sale! Anyway, I did and the rest is history as they say. It has turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life even if I was a little bullied into it. She is my absolute rock and has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, gives far more than anyone should have to, she is my world.
