The act of balancing on a knife edge

Today has been a harsh reminder of the knife edge I am trying to balance on at the moment and how easy it is to fall off. On Friday I had a Skype consultation with my surgeon in Philadelphia. I had sent photos the night before and the first thing she said was “you have a lot of granulation tissue happening there” while I already knew this it was still not what I wanted to hear as that was the first sign that the original surgery was going wrong back in August last year. This time though instead of going straight down the silver nitrate path which I was dreading she told me that she would send me three prescriptions for various creams and ointments which if used in the correct way might prevent the need for treatment with the silver nitrate. She offered to mail the prescriptions to me but as they are of no use over here I asked her to email them to me so I could take them to my new GP for her to convert into Australian scripts which I could then fill. Two of the creams were easy, one is a steroid cream and the other an oestrogen cream both readily available here, the third one is a little more complicated but I eventually got it sorted although it has to be ordered in so will take about a week to arrive. After discussing the scripts my GP wanted to have a look at how I am progressing and immediately announced that I had become tighter since the last time, not what I wanted to hear I can tell you. Add to these two bits of bad news the fact that the oestrogen cream then seems to have sent my hormone regime very haywire and I have well and truly fallen off the knife so today has been a bad day to say the least. There have been lots of tears for no apparent reason and all at inappropriate times so very frustrating. I did however have several better periods of time today, coffee with my good friend Chris this morning, tea with other good friends this afternoon and a very beneficial discussion with Denise tonight going over the things which have brought me down so hopefully I will be in better form tomorrow.

Thankfully we have friends coming for dinner both tomorrow night and Saturday night which will take my mind off current issues, we do so enjoy entertaining people and I will be well and truly in charge of catering tomorrow as Denise is at work all day. Having got into the cooking thing only recently there is some pressure to get things perfect but I am getting more proficient at it especially timing so am really looking forward to the challenge. Hopefully our guests will be happy and we will all have very enjoyable evenings on both days. In reality the catering is secondary to the pleasure of being with friends but I want to do a good job as in keeping with my perfectionist nature!

First week in

The first week of 2018 has been an interesting one in several ways but positive. On a general health level I have made good steps forward. I started walking in the evening less than two weeks ago, at first fairly slow by my standards and not very far, perhaps one kilometre to start with but the difference it has made is enormous. I have always known that my mental health improves when I walk as I t helps me to sleep and gives me a feeling of general wellness. I am now up to doing the full five kilometre walk I was doing back in November, not as quickly as before round one in May but at a reasonable pace which I am proud of. This should also help me to shed those few kilos which I have put back on over Christmas and the new year period.

A new chapter has also begun in terms of my health management. On Thursday I had my first appointment with my new GP. She will never be like the previous one and I know I will never have the same sort of relationship as I have enjoyed with her but feel I am still in good hands. I must say her very direct approach came as a little surprise, she wasted absolutely no time ┬áin getting me on the bed to have a look at Kathy’s handy work but offered a fair assessment of progress and some good advice about keeping it going so on the whole I think it will not be as bad as I thought. I would like to think I can get away from the regular visits I have had to the doctors over the last twelve months or so and move to a more normal situation.

Later this week we are heading down to Esperance for a few days. Esperance is probably my equal favourite place in the world (along with Busselton of course) – the town, the friendliness of the people and most of all the amazing beaches and scenery are just spectacular. We are staying in the same apartments we always do which are close enough to town to walk but far enough out to be quiet and we always get well looked after by the owner. It will also be good to catch up with my cousin and her family and introduce them to Stephanie. Esperance also holds a special memory as it was the first place I went out in public as Stephanie just over a year ago so it will be good to revisit the same places again one year further on, much more confident and at ease with myself.

Hopefully when we get back we will be able to make some progress with the Nannup build. I will be pretty restricted with what I can do but hopefully I can do some coordinating with the various tradespeople we use to get things moving. The windows should be ready at the end of the month so the next job will be getting them fitted and the cladding on the walls. We are so looking forward to getting it completed and spending some time in our dream place. We have so many ideas and plans to put in place to make a very special place indeed – one to enjoy ourselves, and also to share with friends.