A time for anniversaries

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of the start of my mindfulness journey. I have to be very honest and say that when Dr Sarah Moore suggested meditation as a possible way to ease the debilitating pain i was in every day I was more than sceptical, i just couldn’t see how it would help but for two reasons i agreed to give it a go. Firstly, i have complete faith in Sarah so know she wouldn’t suggest something which she didn’t believe would help and secondly, i had just about run out of options. I’ve always been open to trying things but do sometimes struggle with stickatitiveness (yes i know that’s not a real word!) but Sarah suggested i watch a documentary called “The Connection, Mind your body” before my first class and it certainly got me thinking.

Enter the second Sarah in my journey, Sarah Roach, who is my meditation teacher. I knew from my first meeting with Sarah that Dr Sarah was right when she said “if you like me you will definitely like this Sarah as well”. From my very first lesson i knew there was something in it, i just had to work at it until i found it, and i did! Now I realise that I’m still very much in the learning stage but the benefits have been truly incredible. Within 3 weeks i was completely off the daily opiates and apart from the odd time I’ve used them when my back has been really painful, I’ve not needed them since for the pain i was struggling with before as a result of my gender reassignment surgery. I can, with my hand on my heart say i have not missed a day meditating since that day. I think to begin with i was too scared to miss a day in case the pain came back but now i do it because i want to and there are days when it’s only listening to a 10 minute guided meditation but i make time every day. The weekly classes at Sarah’s are an absolute highlight in my week, they serve to keep us all honest but over and above the meditation, there is an energy in the room which i just soak up, it is truly beautiful as are all the other ladies who attend, I’ve made some lovely friends. I guess like most things, the more I meditate, the better i get at it and the easier it is to find my space in stillness. There are days when i sit down to meditate and after a few minutes i just know I’m not going to get there, too many thoughts going on in my head, somewhere i need to be or I’m just not in the right headspace but I’ve learned to not be too hard on myself and try again later and usually I’m straight there. I have numerous ways of starting, usually using the breath in one way or another but my favourite and most effective is to shift my attention to the Cupid’s bow on my top lip and feel the cool air moving over it when i inhale, i also count 4 in and 4 out, it rarely fails! Certainly the more I meditate, the more i get out of it, it’s almost addictive and there are days when I can’t wait to sit and immerse myself in my regime. I know it’s a cliche but it really has changed my life, thank you Sarah and Sarah xx

The second anniversary is on Sunday, it will be 4 years since i had my literally life changing surgery in Philadelphia. It seems like an age away and has certainly been a huge journey. I wanted it so much that i counted down the 174 days from booking the surgery to the day. There was lots of preparation to do and the 55 hour journey from Busselton to Ardmore certainly took it’s toll but it was all so worth it. Kathy and her team made it run as smoothly as possible and while the end result is not quite as i had hoped, at least when i look at my body I don’t feel ashamed of it as i did for many years, it just didn’t fit with my brain and the only regret is that it took me so long to discover the truth about my beginnings and do something about it.

Well, I’m off to meditate now, until next time,