What a day! Today has been a day of appointments with one very big milestone! It started with my weekly piano lesson with David, always an enjoyable experience and today was no exception, we covered “what a wonderful world” then looked at “I hope you dance” which we will work on further next time. Then came my 7th appointment with Hayley, this time I had lots to discuss including my planned surgery, my realisation that my journey is a massive opportunity which far out ways the negative side of the last forty plus years and we discussed Jessie and my relationship with her and how important it is to me. Next came coffee with my best friend Chris, back from Europe for Christmas and how I wish he wasn’t going away again in January!. After lunch came the milestone, I decided to go to my speech therapy lesson as Stephanie, my first outing in daylight fully dressed as a female and I can’t tell you how much it meant to me, Leah was amazing! She complemented me on how I looked which was a big confidence boost and I felt just so comfortable. Leah is a really lovely person who is so obviously enjoying being part of my journey and is putting so much into my lessons. After driving home I went to see a potential house painting job with would be great to get even if I would rather be building at Nannup then out for dinner with Bernie and a view to telling her but when we arrived there were 4 settings at the table and she announced that her house mate would be joining us, a lady called Cindy who we had not met before but really nice so after dinner I decided to tell my story, there were shocked to say the least even said “you’re joking aren’t you ” at first but after I assured them I wasn’t I told them the full story are they were both interested and supportive which in general is how everyone has been up to now, I know that will not be true of everyone I tell, there are going to be those who have an opinion and won’t be supportive, hopefully I will have gained enough confidence to handle those people and if they no longer want to be part of my life then I have to look at it as their loss not mine.
Month: December 2016
Dress to kill
This morning was a time to catch up on some chores around the house! Three loads of washing, the associated ironing, change the bed etc, I chose to do this as Stephanie, heels and all, put eye shadow and liner on and plenty of lipstick! Then for the dress, I chose one of Denise’s as of all the dresses I have worn it has to be my favourite. Before putting it on I decided to choose a different bra from the drawer, as I rummaged through the various styles I found my red and black teddy, I haven’t worn it for ages, probably years! So I put it on and to my amazement it fitted so well, didn’t feel sharp around my bits and looked stunning so I put the dress on and my black heels to finish the job and felt incredibly feminine and even a little sexy. It was a bit over the top for doing my chores but worth it. Denise arrived home at 11.45 and brought Margaret in with her, I think it was a mixture of shock and amazement but she did take a double take when she saw me, made some comments about how thin I was then gave me a hug as usual. Hopefully we are spending Christmas Day with them and hopefully here, I really want to tell Robert about my journey, I feel it’s very unfair asking Margaret to keep it a secret from him so will aim to tell him on Christmas Day, after lunch of course, I would hate to spoil it!
We went across to Nannup this afternoon to take the plywood sheets and shower parts and to fill the holes behind where the shower is going with silicone so it is fully dry by the time the plumber arrives on Tuesday/Wednesday, it was a frustrating job but we managed it eventually, far from ideal but it will do the job I feel.
The dress!
I have looked forward to today for a while! Denise has gone to Perth to see the messiah which gave me a chance to do some Christmas shopping and meet Jessie for some girly clothes shopping and a light lunch which turned out to be a very enjoyable visit to Alforno and lunch with two of Jessie’s friends which was lovely, nice people who must be thinking “what is going on here” but didn’t say anything. Jessie mentioned that she had bought something for me and but wanted me to open it at home with her so we arranged to meet at ours a little later and she gave me the most beautiful dress, sadly it was a 14 and didn’t fit but it was amazing, reds purples, black and white, quite floral and a lovely cut so I look forward to trying the 16 on sometime this week, can’t wait!. Jessie and I had a real heart to heart, she talked about Nick and how she is hurting but knows it’s the right decision to stay parted, we talked about my feelings about my parents and how if I’m not careful it will turn to a bitterness which will not be good for me. Considering there is over 30 years between us we have a real connection and both bared our hearts today, I love her dearly in a sort of protective way, she is so tactile and generous with her love for me, it’s very special!
Mud muffins, plumbers and dresses
Today started early with a trip to Bunbury for an MRI on Denise’s right knee at the hospital then a visit to maccas for a coffee and muffin, I can’t tell you how much I am pleased that they have reintroduced mud muffins, they are just the best! We also had a conversation with the plumber, now I really want to do the shower my way, on my own and in my own time but I think it’s going to be a tough call and I’m not looking forward to it, I have in my own mind what I think will work but want to do it at my leisure. Anyway at least we have got a days delay out of them as Nannup is having a power outage on Tuesday, not that I actually need power so I will get done what I need to in peace!. I dressed for dinner and we ate on the patio, I so want to go out in public in a dress, I just love wearing them and heels etc !
The first link in the chain
So to Thursday, a quick call to Hamish to see if he needed anything, a call to the electrician to see when the quote would be done then some research as to the shower, screen and other stuff needed for the wet area of the shed but not until I had been to see My osteopath as my neck and back were bad when I got up. Annette was the first link in the chain as far as I am concerned and I told her as much, she looked shocked when I told her of my plans, I don’t think she quite put two and two together until I told her I would be changing my name to Stephanie! She was shocked when I told her I was going to Philadelphia for the surgery but understood my reasoning, she asked why Stephanie and when I told her I think she felt sorry for me, I don’t want that, I want people to know what a good life I have had in the circumstances and that I have no regrets. When it came time to leave she gave me a big hug and told me to keep in touch and keep my bitterness about my parents in check and not to let it get on top of me, more to the point, if it does start to overwhelm me then to see her for some help in dealing with it which I very much appreciated.
First Christmas party, lots to observe!
The plan for today was to head to Nannup and work along side Hamish and Luke but it didn’t work quite like that! In reality I was probably slowing them down so after a few hours I decided to head home and do some jobs around the house, I think they were probably pleased that I left as somehow it was awkward being there, like a third pair of hands on a job which only needed two pairs!. Once home I did a few jobs, did some shopping and waited for Denise to get home from work, an uneventful day really, I would have liked to have been more use at the shed but felt better once I got home. Dinner tonight was at the Empire retreat Christmas party, it was good to catch up with Cam and a few of the staff which I know from working there, hopefully there will be some more jobs there next year. The best thing was watching all the ladies present, it was good to observe what to wear and what definitely not to wear for this sort of occasion and also do some gesture watching, all good for the future!
A long weekend of food, fun and sharing my news
weekend review
Let’s talk about the weekend!, starting with Friday which started with a lovely Skype conversation with my very good friend in Melbourne, Rita was my district sales manager for Holden when I worked at Fennessys and we became great friends, she introduced me to isagenix and after leaving the motor trade in 2015 we met up in Prague during her and our European tour which was excellent and a highlight of 2015. Rita told us about her new partner, I am so pleased for her, she deserves some love and affection, I resisted telling her about Stephanie at this stage as I didn’t want to steal her limelight but will tell her soon after Christmas, I just know she will be supportive. Next up came a visit to Linny’s beauty spot for my monthly pedicure, one of my real pleasures in life and I’m thrilled with my toe nails which are painted in “Funtime fuchsia” and then a coat of glitter!!.
The biggest event on Friday was my Skype call with The surgeon in Philadelphia who is going to make my life complete by carrying out my gender reassignment surgery, I chose This one for a number of reasons including the fact that she is female, had great reviews and most of all that she has her own recovery rooms in her house.
The Skype was all I hoped it would be, I took to her straight away, she was kind, helpful and gave me all the information I needed and I booked the surgery there and then, the only downside is that the earliest time she can fit me in is 30th may 2017, in many ways it works well but it seems a long time to wait!.
I went to bed with a feeling of thankful excitement, excited that I have an end date for Robin and a birthdate for Stephanie although I intend to spend more and more time as Stephanie as time goes on, it gives me so much satisfaction and pure enjoyment.
Saturday morning was a time to reflect on the consultation then into town to do some shopping then the beginning of a food fest! High tea with Jessie, the other love of my life and daughter of my piano teacher the dinner with Linny and Andy from next door but one, lovely people and the lady who does my pedicure, I had no thoughts of telling Andy, Linny already knows but it just seemed right somehow and he was amazing, very supportive and genuinely interested.
Ladies toilet and booking my surgery
So today’s highlight was using a ladies toilet for the first time! I was at Nannup working on the shed and needed to go! Normally I would have just done the business in a secluded place on the block and buried it but today, as I was dressed only in a vest top and shorts I decided I could pass with relative ease, particularly in Nannup so got in the car and drove to the toilets in town, there was a car waiting out side as I pulled in and two ladies just coming out of the toilet so as they were getting tin the car I got out, walked past their car and headed for the ladies, i felt comfortable, confident and pleased with myself!. Coming out I passed a lady going in and in my best “head” voice said hello and she replied and didn’t seem to give me a second glance. It’s strange, such a small thing but it meant so much!
Tomorrow is a massive day, Skype with Rita at 8, pedicure with Linny at 11 and the highlight will hopefully be booking my surgery during my Skype consultation with the surgeon in Philadelphia at 10 pm, I’m so looking forward to getting something booked, hopefully she can do it on my birthday! Stephanie’s birthday!.